What Is Your Panic Pattern? How Leaders React to Uncertainty
The other night, my son’s plans changed.
Nothing dramatic. Just a different evening than the one he’d expected.
But I could see it happening: His mind was racing. His emotions were rising. And his reaction to the thing was quickly becoming bigger than the thing itself.
Nobody likes it when the night doesn’t go the way they wanted.
But your brain is a prediction machine. When the prediction breaks, it sounds an alarm. And for many of us who are neurodivergent, that alarm is louder. Research has long linked neurodivergence with a harder time handling uncertainty and sudden transitions. An unexpected change can feel less like an inconvenience and more like a threat.
So I said, “I just want you to notice something. You’re panicking right now. Because you don’t know how this night is going to go, and it’s not what you would have chosen.”
Then I told him something I learned years ago in a mindfulness-based stress reduction class:
Don’t say, “I am panicked.”
Say: “This is what panic feels like.”
He pushed back. “I know what panic feels like.”
And I said, “You know what some panic feels like. This is a different kind.”
That’s the thing about panic.
It doesn’t always look like panic.
Identity vs. Experience
“I am panicked” makes panic part of your identity.
“This is what panic feels like” makes it an experience you’re having.
And experiences can be observed.
Sometimes panic looks like freezing.
It does for me. When the uncertainty gets big enough, my instinct can be to stop. Think. Think some more. Wait until I know the right move before making one.
For someone else, panic might look like sending the 7am email.
Filling the calendar.
Trying to control everyone around you.
Working harder.
Talking faster.
Scrolling.
Eating.
Drinking.
Withdrawing.
Solving a problem that doesn’t actually need to be solved yet.
Demanding certainty when certainty isn’t available.
We all have patterns.
And here’s the tricky part:
Your panic pattern can feel remarkably similar to taking action.
Recognizing Panic in Disguise
“I’m not panicking. I’m fixing this.”
“I’m not anxious. I’m just making sure we have a plan.”
“I’m not avoiding anything. I’m researching.”
Maybe.
Or maybe panic has simply learned to wear a very productive-looking outfit.
That’s why Calm is the first of the 5 C’s of Radical Adaptability™.
Not because calm makes the problem disappear.
Not because taking a breath magically changes what’s happening around you.
Calm creates space between what is happening to you and what happens next.
You might think about it as four moves:
Notice. Name. Breathe. Choose.
Notice what’s happening in your body and mind.
Name it: “This is what panic feels like.”
Breathe. One cycle of box breathing is enough to get some capacity back.
Then choose what the moment actually requires.
“What is the right thing, right now?”
Because if you don’t recognize your panic pattern, there’s a good chance it will start making choices for you.
Reclaim Your Power to Choose
This matters far beyond moments we’d describe as “panic.”
Change creates uncertainty.
Uncertainty activates old patterns.
And when that happens, our first instinct isn’t always our best response.
So here’s a question worth sitting with today:
What is your panic pattern?
What do you tend to do when uncertainty gets loud?
And the next time you notice yourself doing it, try not to judge it or immediately fix it.
Just name it.
“This is what panic feels like.”
Then take a breath.
And choose what happens next.
This Ends Now
Mistaking your panic pattern for a plan.
The 7am email. The extra meeting. The fourth round of research.
If it’s being driven by the need to feel certain, it isn’t strategy yet.
This Moment Matters
Write down your panic pattern. One sentence:
“When uncertainty gets loud, I tend to ______.”
You can’t name something in the moment if you’ve never named it on a calm day.
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